HAVE OUR chums Big Ollie, Auntie Sue, Red Steve, Smiler and the Green cyclist all had ASBOs slapped on them?
It’s the only explanation I can think of for their total absence from the highways and byways of the constituency during the hours of daylight over the past few weeks. If our judicial system has at last seen sense and taken this step they have certainly earned my eternal gratitude.
Since that day, nearly a year, or perhaps just a month, ago when the starter’s pistol signalled the off I have not seen hair nor hide of any of them.
Not that I’ve been hiding away. I have been out and about, strolling around the parish, greeting all and sundry and doing my level best to avoid dehydration – all the normal things that chaps of a certain age get up to when they are not actively involved in mischief. Yet still, as far as I can see, the area remains a rosette, banner and hopeful grin free zone.
So far not even one of the candidate’s acolytes has knocked on the front door in the hope that they can count on my support. I always offer them my old ones but they never accept.
Now I have heard various rather vague, reports, the lad Letwin is in Puncknowle, Sue Farrant is patrolling West Bay or Smiler is hiding his copy of the party’s manifesto inside an old copy of Mad magazine, that sort of thing. But, to date, my spotting sheet remains entirely clear of ticks.
Perhaps I have just struck lucky this time around but others agree with me, when they are not trotting out the oft-repeated line “they’re all as bad as each other”.
Sightings of would-be MPs remain extremely rare.
Of course, there is one possible explanation, which would tie up all the loose ends and could be the answer. Is it just conceivable that politicians are as sick of the sight of us, the electorate, as we are of them? It’s a thought, isn’t it?
Editor’s Note: Candidates standing for West Dorset in the 2010 General Election campaign are Dr Oliver Letwin (Conservative), Dr Sue Farrant (Liberal Democrat), Dr Steve Bick (Labour), Oliver Chisholm (UKIP) and Susan Greene (Green).
Some traces of candidates’ activities can be discovered on their websites; Dr Farrant, for example, can be seen inside a bright yellow hula hoop at Beaminster School’s world-record breaking mass hula hoop event last week – click here - while Dr Letwin is due to be talking in Chickerell tonight (May 3), Loders Village Hall tomorrow night (May 4) and Beaminster on May 5 – click here.
You can tell he’s expected in Loders because some of his roadside posters have been ripped down, and his literature on the parish noticeboard has been defaced, with the legend “I’m with Nick”, among other things.
Dr Bick is talking about possibly visiting Dorchester Market, Oliver Chisholm merely urges people to contact him, while the Green Party’s local website says the Greens are coming but – as with UKIP - you’re best off contacting them yourself to find out where.
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They should be on the streets
Thanks for that Jonathan but none of it is greeting people, pressing flesh and blocking the highway is it? So they expect us to trot along to their meetings where we would be treated to a string of platitudes dressed up as wisdom. Why aren’t they out facing the throngs of admiring voters who would hang on their every word? They should be on the streets meeting the people – just like the young ladies used to in Shepherds Market – and they, after all, were in much the same business.
From the sidelines
I wouldn’t say I was trying to defend the candidates… I added a note to your piece just in case anyone reading it was suddenly seized with a desire to meet one of them before it’s too late. Who knows? If Oliver Letwin does lose West Dorset, we might never get the chance to see him talking in person about “the Big Society” ever again, let alone “the suite of green policies” that David Cameron has been crediting him with, such as more electric cars and “community heating”.
I think it’s been rather a misfiring election locally (and I’m not just talking about the UKIP ice cream van).
I was struck by this line in the Lib Dems’ own account of Dr Farrant’s visit to Beaminster School’s world-record breaking Hula Hoop event: “After a quick practice swirl, Sue Farrant decided to cheer on the students from the sidelines.”
Is this the way to win an election? It might perhaps turn out to be. I don’t know. We’ll find out on Friday morning!
Weeding
To be honest I find the prospect of losing Big Ollie too awful to even contemplate, just as sure as I am riding this bike. Completely and utterly off subject – my wife has just gone into the garden to do some weeding. Perhaps someone could enlighten me as to why she should take our step ladder with her to do it? It’s true you know – women are different. Think I’ll wander down the road and have a drop, it will be a chance to think about it!
Tories misunderstand ‘Vote for Change’
We’ve had no let-up here in Lush Places. Even the Jehovah’s Witnesses are out in force. I think the Tories are out in the hinterland after realising a number of lifelong Tory voters in West Dorset have misunderstood the sign ‘Vote for Change’ and are thinking of voting Lib Dem instead. And that’s not a joke, I was told it in all seriousness by someone who works with old people in the area.
Big scary politics
Isn’t much of this down to the traditional “old media”? To a certain extent if the events aren’t covered, if the wannabes aren’t questioned and if the policies aren’t examined by the papers, tv or radio than we don’t get to know what’s happening.
The View From had a valiant go with several pages of coverage but you’d struggle to know there was a general election on in the Wip Wop, let alone that the standing MP, the very architect of the Conservatives’ manifesto, might actually lose his seat.
The Echo hasn’t been much better, only seeming to care if a “big name” politico goes on a walkabout, it looks like it’s frightened of doing big scary politics.
If the papers – and local tv and radio – did their job properly than we wouldn’t have to rely on satirical blogs to give us a clue to what’s happening in this election.
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/markets/article-23828768-good-bad-and-ugly–how-local-papers-are-reporting-the-election.do
I agree with Banjo
I can only agree with every word that you say Banjo – things certainly have come to a pretty pass when even a General Election fails to get a mention in the local press.