Watch out all you ne’er-do-wells, footpads and villains! One word from The Red Bladder could earn you a hefty stretch of porridge.
Watch out all you ne’er-do-wells, footpads and villains! One word from The Red Bladder could earn you a hefty stretch of porridge.
VILLAGERS in West Milton near Bridport are stepping carefully after a spate of mystery defecations.
… TO THE QUESTION that has seen me tossing and turning at nights over the years and has, no doubt, troubled most of you in a similar manner. It is such a relief to have, at long last, learned this figure.
I am indebted to Mr Graham Burridge, Bridport’s affable postmaster, for finally putting my mind at rest. What, on earth, a very few of you might be asking, is the question?
I would have thought that it was obvious. How much does it cost to send a policeman’s helmet by first class post to another address in this country?
Now, just like me, you have the answer and will be able to stun your friends and relatives with the breadth of your knowledge.
So how did I come by this invaluable piece of information?
Well, just the other day, I was killing a few minutes in the post office queue idly wondering if I should just buy a couple of stamps or be really annoying and ask for a form allowing me to export a consignment of jam and Dorset Knobs to Botswana.
Anyway, whilst my mind was pondering the question a Bobby, as we used to call them, was using the counter service. All the better to bellow at old cloth ears behind the barricade that keep us out and the staff in, he removed his headgear and placed it on the scales beside him
That’s when the huge glowing red LCD numbers lit up and gave me the fascinating nugget of information which I have now shared with Bladderistas around Dorset.
Say what you like about realwestdorset but you can never claim that it isn’t both informative and educational.
Note added 10.45am Friday, February 5: Dorset Police reiterate their belief that firearms were not involved. They are still hunting for two or perhaps three men.
The account in today’s Dorset Echo of what happened at Court Farm in Buckland Newton seems the most reliable published so far. An interview with farmer Martin Perrett backtracks on stories published in the Echo on Thursday.
“Mr Perrett said it was dark with bright headlights so although he had initially thought the raiders used a firearm, police now believed it was a projectile weapon like a ‘high-powered catapult’ as no cartridges had been found.”
Update added 9am Thursday, February 4: Dorset Police are continuing to search for two or perhaps three men.
It’s now thought unlikely that firearms were involved in the initial alleged attempted burglary in Buckland Newton.
Acting on “a postive line of enquiry,” officers have searched an address in Dorchester.
The 40-year-old man arrested is from Somerset. He has been released on police bail while investigations carry on.
First report: DORSET POLICE are appealing for witnesses to come forward after an alleged attempted burglary on the outskirts of Buckland Newton, between Dorchester and Sherborne – with officers asking the public to look out for the men responsible.
Officers are advising members of the public that the men may be dangerous and that witnesses should not approach them, but call the police immediately on 999.
Police attended Court Farmhouse at 2am, today, Wednesday, 3 February 2010, following a report that three or four men had made off on foot after an attempted burglary.
Officers, assisted by the force helicopter and dog handlers, immediately began a search of the area.
Although no-one has been injured, it is believed that the men may have possession of a firearm. Armed officers have been deployed, as is normal in such circumstances.
The suspects were initially tracked by the force helicopter from the C12 Old Sherborne Road, across fields, in the direction of Alton Pancras.
The men were then seen in the vicinity of the B3143 – with one man being arrested in Pulham.
Officers are now following positive lines of enquiry in order to detain the remaining two or three men.
Superintendent Wes Trickey, of Dorset Police’s county division, said: “Officers continue to search for the remaining men and key areas are being contained.
“The men have been running from police for over seven hours now and they will clearly be tired, dishevelled, wet and muddy.
“I understand that these men may be wearing camouflage-style clothing and it’s also possible that they have been discarding this clothing while on the run – this will have left them inappropriately dressed for the wet weather.
“If members of the public notice anyone matching that description and anyone running, hiding or acting in a suspicious or unusual way, then I would urge them to call us straight away.
“Do not approach these men – officers are nearby and they will be able to respond immediately.
“Fortunately, the occupants of the address were not hurt during this incident – it also appears that nothing has been stolen.”
A 40-year-old man has been arrested and enquiries are ongoing.
Witnesses and anyone who sees the men who they believe to be those responsible should dial 999 immediately. Anyone else with other information about those responsible should contact Dorset Police in confidence on 01305 222 222.
FROM PC Nigel Case’s column in the November edition of Eggardon & Colmer’s View. Note: Yellow Lane is one of the old Dorset hollow-ways, a drover’s track through steep banks of sandstone, strewn in the autumn with leaves, gravel and mud.
“Watch the roads: last year I went to two crashes in Yellow Lane, Loders, caused in part by drivers not taking the slippery conditions into account and being unable to stop in time before hitting another vehicle.
“After these crashes I placed an article in the local papers advising people to slow down a bit; in a cruel twist of irony a week later, I was involved in a crash in my police car along that same stretch of road and the car was written off as a result.
“I would like to add there was no fault on the part of the other driver concerned, but this does demonstrate the need to slow it down a bit in the autumn and winter months.”
THE CRIME Mapper is meant to give you the chance to see how much crime there’s been where you live.
Move over a map and zoom in and out, and it will tell you the total number of crimes per month per area, and how that number compares with the same period last year. You can also break down crimes into four categories – burglary, robbery, violence and vehicle crime. Anti-social behaviour is on there too.
If you want to find out how your area compares with other parts of Dorset, or other parts of England and Wales, you can.
So, for example, in the area covered by the Marshwood Vale Safer Neighbourhood Team during August 2009, there were no robberies, and there were none in the same month the year before. In the tough Huyton district of Liverpool, there were 3 robberies in August 2009, and 7 in August the year before. (I chose part of Liverpool for a comparison, because I remember Bridport’s section commander Inspector Alan Jenkins once telling me what a contrast there was between crime rates in West Dorset and places like Liverpool, and how lucky people in West Dorset were – and he’s right of course, we are lucky…)
But what is the Crime Mapper actually like to use? There’s a link to it here if you want to have a go.
I’d say it’s slow and clunky, rather like a 1980s video game. You have to click on some things at least twice before they work, and – until you get used to it – move your mouse in a counter-intuitive way.
The maps showing Dorset broken down into policing sections are also disconcerting. They mis-spell places like “Uploaders” and “Wooton Fitzpaine”, and show some villages in weird geographical relation to others (West Milton is not a few miles slightly north-east of Uploders, I’m sure it’s not).
But the main problem is that the service doesn’t tell you enough. Once you’ve found out that (say) there were eight burglaries in the Marshwood Vale during August 2009, compared with three in August 2008, you want to know where they were, and when they were, and what was taken, and has anybody been arrested, and so on, and so on. Were the break-ins to farms or homes?
The service has been set up by the Government nationally so that people can, if they want to, hold their local police to account. But more detail and context is needed, as in the USA, where sites like everyblock.com tap into amazing sources of up-to-date information. You can famously find out if someone’s been arrested in your neighbourhood within the last hour. Choose any city, look under public records, then crimes: it’s a real eye-opener.
The Crime Mapper is interesting as far as it goes, but crude.